Danielaphant

Linden French-milled Soap (11)

2010-08-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

If I'm ever rich, I will have all my clothes professionally laundered and returned to me folded in blue paper bundles tied with string. I will also only use triple-milled French soap. At 5 bucks a bar, this is a rare luxury item around the Koontz household. Linden is my favorite scent because it smells like clean blossoms without any musky undertones.

David Byrne (10)

2010-08-06T08:37:00.001-07:00

Passion Flower (9)

2010-07-31T13:54:00.000-07:00

The exotic bloom of a vine that is named for the passion of Christ and not for its erotic looking tendrils or rich purple color. There are two vines in my backyard and when the flowers bloom, I'm enraptured.

Peet's Coffee (8)

2010-07-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

We are coffee snobs here at Cafe Koontz and there is no better coffee than Peet's. Peet's served as the inspiration for the Starbucks franchise, but we don't hold that against them. Peet's never really made it in the cafe scene however; their outlets mainly serve as coffee bean stores. The original store is in Berkeley, California. We have 3 lbs shipped monthly to Texas and they only ship beans that are freshly roasted. You cannot make a decent cup of coffee without freshly roasted beans and filtered water. Throw out your Folger's, Starbucks supermarket bags, and those pricey Italian pods. Those beans were roasted back when people put mousse in their hair. Order your Peet's today.
(No, they did not pay me to advertise their product.)

The Flesh in Rubens' Paintings (7)

2010-07-26T09:24:00.000-07:00

Dynamic foreshortened limbs! Undertones of green and blue! Hooray for orgiastic pyramids of flesh! Is there anyone alive who can paint like Peter Paul Rubens?

The Gulf Coast Rocker! (6)

2010-07-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

KACC is a commercial free community college station here in Alvin. If you've sold your soul to rock n roll as I have, then just go to 89.7 on the radio dial to listen to some surprising tunes. It's the only station in the Houston area that will play obscure rock classics. Last night they played a mix of The Jam, early David Bowie, Judas Priest, and some local bands. There is no arty stuff here and everything is pretty guitar-centric. They also have a web station if you click the link above.

Rock n Roll Singers in Top Hats (5)

2010-07-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

Men should accessorize more often.

Mango Cut in the Latin American Style (4)

2010-07-17T11:26:00.000-07:00

1. Slice along each side of the pit so you are left with a pit piece, and two kidney-shaped mango halves. 2. Place one of the halves in your palm and score a grid with a sharp knife into the mango flesh. 3. Invert the peel and either eat the cubes or cut them off the peel. 4. Repeat with the other side. 4. Peel the pit piece and suck on the pit while standing over the kitchen sink.

Wheelbarrow (3)

2010-07-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

If you have to move earth from one place to another, a wheelbarrow certainly beats a bucket.

Tango (2)

2010-07-12T14:30:00.000-07:00

Geraldine and Javier Video Link

Having taken tango lessons, I can assure you that it is an extremely sexist art form. The man guides the woman's movements by applying pressure with base of his palm into her back. Experts will tell you there is no woman's tango; the style is determined by the man. Yet the woman is no delicate flower in heels. She's a femme fatale.
Perhaps it's this ritualized domination and submission that makes the tango so witheringly romantic. Geraldine and Javier are my favorite youtube tango couple. Even at a simple rehearsal, they may be the best couple to ever cross the floor.

Gulf Coast Shrimp (1)

2010-07-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

Over the course of the next year I plan to post a list of 365 beautiful things as a therapeutic exercise to cure my perpetual ennui. This is my first post.
A block from my house a lady in a royal blue wooden trailer sells fresh-caught shrimp out of two dirty coolers. The jumbo variety costs $5.50 a pound. BP has stolen this from coastal Louisiana.

The Cube Has Walls

2009-09-27T07:51:00.001-07:00

The Cube

2009-09-23T17:43:00.000-07:00

The concrete has been poured and the wood frame is up. Today they added the white metal walls and the insulation. Here is a photo of the wood frame. More photos to follow. It will be 1/4 art studio, 1/4 writing studio, and 1/2 man cave.

Owen!

2009-07-23T10:53:00.000-07:00

Holiday Card Image

2008-12-21T17:08:00.000-08:00

Another year. Older, grayer and fatter. Still working on my personality.

I'm growing stuff!

2008-12-06T08:48:00.000-08:00

Lookie here y'all, real organic gulf coast winter tomatoes! We bought dirt, built raised beds, fertilized and watered, and so far we have about 15 tomatoes. Hopefully there won't be a freeze anytime soon. The least pleasant thing about my garden is my neighbor's satanic dog (pictured below), who barks and snarls constantly. We used to have a tall wooden fence between our garden and this continuously angry cur, but Ike changed all that. If I can't find a contractor to rebuild the fence soon, I may have to poison the bitch. Esme, the third world dog, doesn't like our neighbor's dog either.

Phoenix From The Ashes and Other Cliché Metaphors

2008-09-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

A nasty stump of a rose bush I was going to dig up produced this bud after Ike. Lee has been calling it the "Ike Rose." Guess we're keeping it now that it has a name. Ain't nature grand?

Here are a couple before and after Ike pictures of our yard. Lots of labor ahead, but not as much damage as other folks.

I Don't Like Ike.

2008-09-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

THURSDAY
Even though we spent part of the day buying water and filling up gas tanks, Thursday felt like a little unearned vacation. The weather was calm and we sat around the house watching TV and surfing the internet.

FRIDAY
The pictures and forecasts on the news were dire, and Grandma called to extend an invitation to Ft. Worth. I remembered all the horrid tales of the Rita evacuation. Many of my friends spent 9+ hours in the car trying to get out of the city. No thank you. We were going to ride it out. The pre-hurricane sky was an ominous orange. Around midnight the winds became fierce. The power went out around 1:00 am and the winds continued to thrash for 5 more hours.

SATURDAY
The day after the storm was unbearably hot indoors for everyone, so the entire neighborhood took to the street to survey the damage or they sat out on their porches. We saw downed trees and power lines and a "tossed salad" of leaves and debris everywhere. The people in the faux chateau townhome across the street had an array of reclining lounge chairs set up in their garage. We met new neighbors and told "how I survived the storm" stories. Saturday night my family played poker and "Oh Hell" for hours. We had to shut our windows at dusk to prevent a mosquito infestation, so no one slept very well in the humid still air.

SUNDAY
All the neighborhood markets were closed due to lack of power. My pregnant neighbor looked uncomfortable, hot and overwhelmed. I was saddened by the hundreds of dead birds on the sidewalk in front of Kroger's supermarket. Room temperature food, non-potable water running from the tap, bickering stir-crazy boys, and lack of information made Sunday an unpleasant day.

MONDAY
Rex discovers he has to return to work immediately. I'm convinced that the University of Houston is run by Satan. The rest of us are told to take the rest of the week off. We spend three hours walking to and waiting in line at Whole Foods (the only open store) to buy overpriced but welcomed provisions. In the afternoon, we drive to Alvin to discover our house is safe, but our yard, trees, and fences are completed trashed. Please note the photo of the huge toppled pecan that had the courtesy to fall away from our house.

TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, and THURSDAY
Boys and I drive to Ft. Worth to hang with Grandparents in air conditioned splendor. Hot meals, ice cubes, and Dish Network abound.

FRIDAY
We're back in Houston. The power is on although our house smells faintly of fish and mildew. I'm cleaning and enjoying internet access. There is food in the refrigerator, scented candles are burning, but it remains difficult to relax. The city is crippled and I am overcome with sorrow for our neighbors to the south. I can't believe how wimpy I've become. I need to remember that most of the planet lives without the comforts I enjoy every day.

Very busy.

2008-09-04T17:57:00.001-07:00

1. Wake up.
2. Find respectable clothes.
3. Make sure Julian eats breakfast.
4. Drive to school.
5. Prepare supplies for 6 classes.
6. Teach 130 students.
7. Do paperwork and answer e-mails.
8. Teach Julian to drive.
9. Go to the supermarket.
10. Cook dinner.
11. Watch some of the conventions while eating.
12. Wash dishes.
13. Prepare Art History lecture.
14. Surf web.
15. Read two paragraphs of The New Yorker.
16. Sleep and repeat.

Danielaphant vs. Nature

2008-07-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

This is one of those metal Corona beer pails that you get in a Tex-Mex restaurant filled with those cute mini Coronas and crushed ice. When we inherited it from the previous owners of Cowboy house, it was filled with motor oil. I didn't know how to dispose of it environmentally correctly, so I let it sit for a while in the backyard. One morning, I discovered a dead frog floating in it, which made matters worse. Then it rained, so the pail is now filled with a weird stew of dead frog and frothing goo. Please rid me of this toxic eyesore!

My minions and I built 4 raised beds for growing vegetables. We had to carry all those very heavy cement blocks, move them about, fill the beds with countless wheelbarrows full of dirt, rake, fertilize and mulch. I am now officially "swole".

In the front yard, we have two Sago Palms. The are not technically palms, but some ancient dinosaur plant. They are sharp, spiny and send out these bulbs at the roots called "pups" that are next to impossible to dig out. It took me three days of pruning to get the Sago in the foreground to look clean and architectural. The one in the background is waiting for the same haircut. Any volunteers?

Recontextualization baby!

2008-07-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

I've been checking out the local antique scene in Alvin this summer, but I haven't purchased anything until today. I saw these rustic old folding chairs at Dixie Bell Antiques a month ago, but I didn't need any chairs so I walked away. Then I went to this hip florist in The Heights and they were selling a turquoise version of this chair for 125 bucks! So I popped back to Dixie Bell, and there they were; two for $49.00. I've decided to use them as objets d'art instead of things to sit on. If El Ranchito has an aesthetic, they seem to match it.

Hill Country Beauty

2008-07-25T15:46:00.001-07:00

From Neal's Lodges...

This summer we went for the uncomplicated vacation. We rented a cabin in the Texas Hill Country; walking distance from a cold spring-fed swimming hole on the Frio river. Julian brought along his friend Everett and we met up with grandparents and cousins. It was relaxing, unpretentious, and fun. Rex's folks treated us to some fine cooking at Neal's Dining Hall and at night we went to the outdoor jukebox dance at Garner State Park and tried our best to two-step. We are already planning a return trip next summer. By then, perhaps my sunburn will have healed. Let us know if we can book y'all a cabin too!

Click on the slide show to see bigger pictures.

Rolling Stones Live in 1967

2008-07-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

I've been strangely obsessed lately with late sixties Rolling Stones music. There is something raw, fun, and pure Rock n' Roll about it. Makes the Beatles seem wussy by comparison. Please note that Keith Richards wasn't always scary.

Top 5 tunes from before 1970

1. Paint It Black
2. She's A Rainbow
3. Back Street Girl
4. Dandelion
5. Street Fighting Man

Nanny's Table and Chairs

2008-06-24T16:31:00.000-07:00

Rex's folks gave us this fabulous 50s formica table and chairs that belonged to Nanny. Thank you! It fits our humble 1954 "cowboy country" house perfectly. I thought Johnnie would especially enjoy seeing what they look like in their new home. Now we just need the right curtains and dishes! The retro clock is from Target and the hamburger paintings are by yours truly.

El Ranchito

2008-06-20T17:53:00.001-07:00

I've been a busy beaver working on the pad in Alvin. The front porch has a couple of new Adirondack chairs, a new outdoor sconce, and hanging baskets. We drink our coffee there every morning and wave to the middle-aged bikers as they roll by. In the back, I replaced a tacky mosquito-infested pond with a mini-tropical garden of bamboo and ferns. Let's see if it survives longer than my blisters. Click on the tiny "before and after" picture below to see the fruit of my labor.

Fetch? Yeah, whatever.

2008-06-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

I think Esme is getting old.

Me on the first day of summer vacation.

2008-05-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

Actually, this is a contestant in the German office chair race that took place in April. May we all embrace the silly with such enthusiasm.

My Top Twenty Teen Flicks

2008-04-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

This list was inspired by the movie Juno. I thought, "this movie will be on my top ten teen film list" but then I realized, I've never made such a list. I couldn't limit it to only ten, as it is a rich category, so I came up with twenty. My apologies to John Hughes. Here goes, not in order of preference:

1. Rebel Without a Cause
2. Say Anything
3. Rumble Fish
4. Repo Man
5. Ghost World
6. Heathers
7. Hoop Dreams
8. My Own Private Idaho
9. William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet
10. Juno
11. Crooklyn
12. Quadrophenia
13. A Clockwork Orange
14. Manny and Lo
15. Breaking Away
16. The Sure Thing
17. The Last Picture Show
18. 400 Blows
19. Au Revoir Les Enfants
20. The Virgin Suicides

El Ranchito

2008-04-19T13:38:00.000-07:00

We've been busy trying to buy a second home in Alvin, Texas. I'm full of anxiety and always second guessing myself. Do I really want a 1954 Cowboy Cottage with a wagon wheel porch? We can't keep one home clean. There are many more details about our little ranchito on the Houston real estate website. Y'all be sure to come by!

It's Hammer Time

2008-01-18T19:00:00.000-08:00

Looking back, Hammer is a better dancer than Michael Jackson and Prince combined. Who would have thought? I don't think my 40+ year old body can do these moves.

FestiKoontz Best of 2007

2007-12-16T11:39:00.000-08:00

1. Lee has 5 canine teeth.
2. Julian achieves expert level on Guitar Hero.
3. Daniela’s students exhibit at Contemporary Art Museum.
4. Honeycrisp apples are delicious.
5. Rex has tenure.
6. Oishii Japanese Restaurant is inexpensive, tasty, and fun.
7. The book is in.
8. Julian is on Lamar’s freshmen baseball team.
9. Lee pitched for Neartown in the city playoffs.
10. Rex and Daniela are going to Paris.

An American In Paris

2007-12-08T08:31:00.000-08:00

Surprisingly, the spouse and I are going to Paris over the holiday break. We never manage to go anywhere because something else (baseball camp, new roof, orthodontics, etc) always comes up. We purchased the tickets 6 months ago, when we had some cash on hand, and figured since the money had already been spent, everything else would have to bow to our selfish needs. Voilá, it worked!
It feels strange to be taking a trip as an adult. When I travelled in my youth, there was always the possibility that I could stay there forever. Now I know that I will never "go native" and that I have a mortgage, and a job, and that I am a tourist. Seems less fun somehow.

Merry F#*king Christmas

2007-12-01T13:16:00.000-08:00

Don't know about you guys, but when I think warm holiday cheer, Billy Idol always comes to mind. Watch your back, Perry Como.

Thanksgiving List

2007-11-21T10:45:00.001-08:00

1. Glazed Cornish game hens with cornbread stuffing
2. Steamed asparagus
3. Cinnamon organic garnet yams
4. Buttermilk yeast rolls
5. Whole fresh cranberry sauce
5. Homemade apple cranberry pie a la mode

It's good to be home. Have a happy one.

2007-11-01T20:00:00.001-07:00

I danced for hours at the Marc Anthony concert last night. He is on tour with his wife. I hear she is a famous actress or something. The entire crowd were on their feet shaking their hips and singing. It was a blast. He may be a funny looking little runty guy, but man, what a voice! Here is a taste of the master at work. There is a reason he is the best selling salsa singer of all time.

Cowboy Using Cell Phone

2007-10-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

Saw this at baseball tournament in Hitchcock, Texas, just south of Houston.

Change of heart

2007-10-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

If I blog again, it needs to be inoffensive, non-confessional, and fun. Can it be done?